October 2025's Plot Twist

Remember when we all thought WeWork was revolutionary? (Spoiler: it was just sub-letting with kombucha.) Well, Bitmine—ETH's new best friend—might be having its own "wait, what?" moment.

Fundstrat's Tom Lee has been playing Pac-Man with Ethereum tokens, gobbling up over three million of them through his company Bitmine. Brilliant strategy, really—become so big that ETH's price depends on you not sneezing. But here's where it gets interesting: Kerrside Capital just dropped a report asking some rather uncomfortable questions. Think of it as that friend who points out your new girlfriend might be texting her ex a bit too much.

The concern? When one entity holds that much of anything, they don't just influence the market—they become the market. And markets, like British summers, have a nasty habit of turning when you least expect it.

What this means for you: If you're holding ETH, you're essentially betting on Tom Lee's continued enthusiasm. Not saying that's bad—just saying you should know whose party you're at.

🎲 This Week's Macro Circus

The Fed, Trump, Xi, and Putin walk into a bar... and your portfolio is paying the tab...

Wednesday's Fed meeting could end QT (that's "Quantitative Tightening" for those who haven't memorized central banking jargon). JP Morgan reckons it's likely, which is banker-speak for "we're pretty sure, but don't sue us if we're wrong."

But here's the genuinely fascinating bit:

• Thursday: Trump meets Xi in South Korea (tariff negotiations)
• Russia's oil sanctions are actually working (China's complying!)
• The US government shutdown could end Friday
• Putin meeting is suddenly "not completely off the table"

You know what this reminds me of? That scene in every heist film where all the moving parts suddenly click together. Except instead of George Clooney looking suave, we've got Jerome Powell adjusting his tie nervously.

The crypto angle: If the shutdown ends, those spot alt-coin ETFs everyone's been whinging about could finally move forward. October could still pull off its traditional "Uptober" performance—like a footballer scoring a goal in injury time.

🏒 Prediction Markets: From Degen to Mainstream

The NHL just legitimized crypto prediction markets, and DraftKings wants in.

Right, this is actually brilliant. Polymarket and Kalshi just scored licensing deals with the NHL—the first time a major US sports league has said "yeah, alright, you can use our logos and everything." It's like getting your parents' permission to throw a house party, except the party involves betting on whether the Maple Leafs will finally stop being disappointing (spoiler: they won't).

But here's the plot twist: DraftKings isn't competing—they're partnering. Polymarket will handle the backend for DraftKings' new prediction platform. It's like Tesco deciding to let Waitrose run their bakery section—unexpected, but oddly sensible.

Three things that actually matter here:

1. MetaMask and Robinhood are integrating prediction markets (your nan might accidentally bet on the weather soon)
2. "Parlay bets" are coming to crypto (think lottery tickets but with better maths)
3. Limitless just rugged their community for $2M (called it "market making"—the cheek!)

Why should you care? Prediction markets are having their "PayPal in 2002" moment. Early, messy, but about to eat traditional betting's lunch.

🎬 The Grand Finale

So here we are, standing at the intersection of "everything matters" and "nothing makes sense." This week could either launch the next leg of the bull market or remind us why we keep emergency chocolate to hand in an office drawer.

The beautiful irony? While everyone's watching prediction markets predict the future, the actual future is being decided in board rooms by people who still print their emails. It's like using a smartphone to take pictures of a sunset—technically advanced, fundamentally absurd, perfectly human.

If I had to bet (and isn't that what we're all doing?), I'd say October pulls a classic British comeback—looking terrible until the last possible moment, then somehow muddling through to victory.